Do you guys remember the days when making a SIMPLE purchase at a cash register was quick, easy, and PAINLESS?
Well, not anymore.
Corporate "tracking" and rebate programs have made my life completely miserable - and because I have VERY little patience - I hesitate to inquire on a pack of goddamn chewing gum - for fear that they might ask me for my ZIP CODE...
Companies love trying to get you to make a purchase based upon a REBATE discount. Comfortable that most people will tear long strips of FLESH off their own FACE with their fingernails - long before they summon the patience and sanity together to gather the paperwork to file a MAIL-IN rebate.
Recently, I went to the store to buy a pair of Bose headphones. A fairly common and painless purchase for any HUMAN BEING with an i-pod or a cell phone.
I thought nothing of it...
Needless to say - checking out at the REGISTER was just about as fun as enlisting in the ARMY...
Employee: "Hi. How are you today?"
Me: "I'm fine, Thanks. How are you?"
Employee: "Good. Did you find everything you were looking for?"
Me: "Yep. No problem."
Employee: "OK. Great. Do you have a Best Buy points Card?"
Me: "Yes - but I don't have it with me today..."
Employee: "Ok. No problem. I can search for it in the computer. Whats your last name?"
Me: "Post. P-O-S-T.
Employee: "PROST?"
Me: "No. POST - 'P' as in PETER. O. S. 'T' as in TOM - POST."
Employee: "First name?"
Me: "John. J-O-H-N."
Employee: "John Post?"
Me: "Yes."
Employee: "425 Robin Road Harrisburg, PA?"
Me: "No."
Employee: "Ok. How about 1133..."
Me: "Yes. That's it."
Employee: "Ok. Do you have a Best Buy charge card?"
Me: "Nah."
Employee: "Do you want one? - It's good for 10% off on all purchases today?"
Me: "Nah. I'm good - I don't really have the time today. Thanks though."
Employee: "Ok. No problem. Will this be cash, or charge?"
Me: "Cash."
Employee: "Great - Whats your zip code?"
Me: "19610."
Employee: "Ok. Your total is $101.40."
Me: "Ok - Cool. I think I have $.40...hold on let me check."
Employee: "No problem. Did you know that for an extra $40, Best Buy offers a replacement program that will cover and insure any defects with this product for up to 2 years? Is this something you might be interested in?"
Me: "No, I didn't know that - and no, I'm not really interested in that today. Thanks though."
Employee: "Ok. Well there is a $5 mail in rebate available on this product. When you open the package - read the information and long onto the website, fill out the online form - including the model number, which Best Buy you made the purchase and today's date - and submit your information."
Me: "Ok. Ill be SURE to do that as soon as I get home. Hell - I might even do it from the PARKING lot on my BlackBerry."
Employee: "Ok. Well there is also a special on this product today - you're in luck. For a limited time, you can buy the extra moldings for your ear cavity for $10.99. Normally, they are $12.99. Is this something you might be interested with?"
Me: "No. I'm only interested in buying these headphones - and besides I have to go DONATE BLOOD, and Im running late - so please, just give me the product I want, and leave me alone."
Employee: "Ok. Should I put the receipt in the bag?"
Me: "Yes. I thought you were never going to ask me that. That would be GREAT."
Employee: "In order for us to serve you better - there is a survey on the back of the receipt. Please take a minute and call the 800 number on there - and tell us how I did today. That would be a great help...and its good for $5 off your next purchase."
Me: "Is that it? Because I can now feel my teeth starting to ROT out of my head since I have started to talk with you today - on what I was expecting to be an easy purchase."
Employee: "Yes. That is it. Have a nice day. - Show the receipt to the security manager on your way out."
Wow - That very well could have been the worst day of my life. I have never been a proponent of internet shopping, but now I am starting to change my mind.
Look, you guys are all savvy, so there's no need to remind you to never buy anything because it is on rebate.
Don't even factor a rebate into your purchasing equation: 10 times out of 10, rebates are ANNOYING and frustrating.
What ever happened to... "Give me what I am buying - with the receipt in the bag. Have a nice day. K, Thanks...?"
Posts
Yeah man, best buy is the worst place for that crap EVER! I used to wanna kill people at circuit city for trying to sell me something with a rebate that I KNEW i'd never collect despite filling everything out in triplicate and mailing it in on time.
ReplyDeleteFor the uninitiated...the old zipcode question allows them to best target their marketing activity in the absence of other information when you pay cash...when you pay with the card they get your name and address and can fill your mailbox until you say stop.
HAHAHAHA...Post, you've captured my frustration exactly. What a complete hassle and gauntlet of irritating questions!
ReplyDeleteNo one can capture that market quite like radio shack. They ask you a slew of questions and chances are... You might be pregnant by the time you get your double aa batteries and speakerwire! You could not get more info out of a person unless they were applying to be a CIA agent. Even then your real friends would never say you stole a pipe cleaner from tobacco world along with some zippo flints. There is a higher level of confidentiality at confession for crying out loud!
ReplyDelete"There is a good chance you are going to be PREGNANT by the time you get your AA batteries and speaker wire." BAAAHAHAHAHA
ReplyDeleteWell said Nick. Well said.